physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
