I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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