did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
