yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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