Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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