what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
