He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
