addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
