why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
