He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
