And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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