i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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