are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
