I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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