I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
