He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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