I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
You need Xanax blowdarts
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Randomize
