my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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