It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
