i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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