I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I bet he comes in French.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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