Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize
