you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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