so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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