i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
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