Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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