yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
