you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
