We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
