So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
