Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
