i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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