Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
