Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
