i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
