I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
