i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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