i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
smell my finger.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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