this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
