I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
