we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I can't put those talents on a resume
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Randomize
