My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Randomize
