Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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