I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
