theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
