im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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