In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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