I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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