Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
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