An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
