my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
