my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize