I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
