A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
