Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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