I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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