dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
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