I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
